Misery Loves My Company
by DomBird
Summary: Sam Winchester knew his place in the family. Sam had come to terms with that. But when he is left at a crappy motel and is told he's on his own, Sam knows he's in trouble. In comes Cas and Gabriel Novak, who become friends with the Winchester. But as time goes on and Sam's situation gets drastic, John's reasoning for Sam's treatment comes to light. And it's not pretty. Or natural.
1. Chapter 1-Part 1-Let You Down

"_When you finally trust me_

_Finally believe in me"-Let You Down, Three Days Grace_

Sam Winchester knew his father was off, knew that he loved his elder son more than his younger one. John and Dean knew it too. But Sam never thought John would do this.

They had been low on money. John's drinking habits were expensive, and credit card fraud only got them so far. So when John sent Dean out for a coffee run, he took his other son and dropped him off at a motel, saying he'd get Dean and drive back later.

So Sam waited. But the next morning, he knew something was wrong. So he called his father.

"Dad? Where are you?"

"Dean and I are on our way to Maine."

Sam frowned. "I'm in Ohio."

"I know, son."

"What's going on, dad?"

"We're short on money, and this was the only solution. I paid for you to sleep in the hotel for a week, and enrolled you at a school there, start tomorrow. But you can't come with us anymore."

The phone slid out from Sam's grasp, and he fumbled to pick it up. "What does Dean think about this?"

"I'll force him to understand if I have to." John hung up.

Sam threw the phone across the room, watching it bounce off the wall.

Gabriel sat on his couch, candy wrappers spread around him like flower petals. Castiel

frowned at his brother but didn't say anything.

"Lighten up, Cassy," Gabriel stuck out his tongue, which was tinted blue from a lollipop he had unwrapped a few moments ago.

"I will not 'lighten up'. Do you not have homework to do?"

Gabriel shrugged, and Castiel threw up his hands before leaving the room, muttering something that sounded like "You're impossible."

Not wrong.

Sam didn't really want to go to school, but figured since John had already enrolled him, it'd draw unwanted attention to not show up. He was a junior, and dreading every second of it. He was too busy wondering what the fuck he would do when his week at the motel was up. He had no money, no job, and did not particularly want to be homeless.

But he couldn't really explain that to his teachers, and until he was able to contact Dean (John disconnected his phone) and sort this out, he was stuck.

Oh, and his math teacher, Mr. Walker, seemed to automatically hate Sam the second he walked through the door. It was wonderful.

By the time lunch rolled around, Sam still hadn't talked to anyone he wasn't forced to, so he didn't have anyone to sit with, choosing an empty table in the back of the cafeteria. He had no food, so he just took out some of his homework and spread it across the table, until someone plopped beside him, and threw a candy bar at his face. Sam looked up.

"Hi?"

"I'm Gabriel, and my creepy brother standing behind you is Castiel."

Sam whipped around to the guy standing behind him, and then back to Gabriel. He was sure he was making a weird face, but then his phone, which he managed to repair, started ringing, and he answered it.

"Dad?" he asked, gesturing to Gabriel and Castiel that he'd be right back before walking away.

"Hi, Sam."

"Hi? Really? What the fuck dad? I have no money, no where to live when the week is over, and you say hi?"

"Look I'm sorry, Sam. I really am, but this is the only way."

"You're disgusting."

"Look, I know I have no right to ask anything of you-"

"You don't." this time, Sam hung up, staring at his phone for a second before sitting back down with Castiel and Gabriel. "Sorry about that."

ONE WEEK LATER

Sam was shaking violently as he stepped out of the hotel. With his week over, he had no where to go. He only had his phone and a small bag of things like clothes and a hairbrush. He walked around, not sure what to do with himself. This town was too small to have a homeless shelter nearby, and he had no way to get to one. The only thing he could think of was to call Gabe and Cas, his friends, and he'd rather have a needle stuck in his eye than to ask them for help. So eventually, Sam found an alley that looked safe enough, and grasping his knife, fell into a troubled sleep.

The next day at school, he was sore beyond belief. After sleeping on the cement, his body was not happy with him, and he hadn't eaten since he stole that loaf of bread and cheese two days ago. Sometimes Gabriel threw candy at him, and Sam hoped that today was one of those days.

"Sam? Did you do your homework?" Mr. Walker asked, smirking as Sam inwardly groaned.

"No."

"And why not?"

"Because I have bigger issues than my algebra homework."

A few students giggled behind them, but Mr. Walker assigned Sam a detention for the next day. Awesome. Sam looked out the window. It was raining.

Fucking awesome.

It was easy for Gabriel to sense that something was wrong when Sam approached him, looking like there was a bomb strapped to his chest.

"What's wrong, kiddo?"

Sam frowned at the nickname. "I was wondering...uh...nevermind." he turned around, ready to run away, but Gabriel grabbed his arm and made Sam face him.

"What do you need?"

"I don't have anywhere to sleep tonight." Sam said softly, looking at the floor.

"You wanna sleep at my place?"

Sam nodded, still refusing to meet Gabriel's eyes.

"That's not a problem."

At this, Sam did look up, surprise shining on his face. "Really?"

"Yeah, course. Meet me by Walker's room after school."

Sam agreed, and soon the younger boy was gone.

However, Gabriel couldn't stop his mind from worrying. Why did Sam not have a place to sleep tonight? Was he abused? He seemed fine, just tired and hungry, which was why Gabriel gave him candy bars, but was there something he just couldn't see? He had a place to sleep every other night, but was he safe there?

The rain had shifted to a downpour by the time the school day ended, and Sam met up with Castiel and Gabriel. Gabriel had a cherry red Mustang, and driving skills that scared Cas and Sam. They managed to get to the Novak house in one piece, and Sam gasped when he saw it.

It was more like a mansion than a house, and Sam felt a flare of anger and jealousy. Why did they have so much when Sam only had a small bag of possessions, an alley, and stolen food? But he shook his anger off. The Novaks were nice people, and they deserved what they had.

"I'm just gonna warn you, Sam, some of my family can be...intense. Like, worse than Cas." Gabriel smirked.

"Nothing I can't handle."

Gabe nodded, and the three of them made their way into the house. The entryway was bigger than most of the hotel rooms the Winchesters had been stuffed into, and it only got larger from there, to the point where Sam was worried he'd get lost.

"Castiel, Gabriel, who is your friend?"

The three of them turned to a man who simply radiated power.

"Michael, this is Sam. He requested a place to sleep for the night." Castiel answered.

"Hello Sam." Michael turned toward him. "Do you not have anywhere to sleep?'

"I just need somewhere for tonight."

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that it is raining?"

Gabriel noticed how Sam stiffened. "No."

Michael nodded, and let the boys continue upstairs. "You can sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight." Gabriel gestured to an empty room, stopping for Sam to put his stuff down on the bed before continuing to Gabriel's room. Cas headed off in his own direction to do homework.

Gabe flopped down on his bed, and Sam sat in a weirdly fluffy chair.

"So why do you not have a place to sleep tonight?" Gabriel asked, his voice gentle yet firm.

Sam shrugged, his mind too tired to come up with a lie but not tired enough to tell his friend the truth.

"It's fine if you don't want to tell me, but...you're safe, right?"

Sam nodded, not trusting his voice to lie to Gabriel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second chapter! Thanks for everyone who's reading this.**

**I hope you enjoy! (also, the next chapter will have more Dean in it than these first two, so there's that to look forward to!)**

"_Trust me_

_There's no need to fear"-Let You Down, Three Days Grace_

Gabriel sat in his room, awake long after Sam had made his way over to the guest room. He couldn't stop thinking about Sam, the way he avoided eye contact when Gabriel asked him if he was safe. Gabriel was determined to make Sam trust him, to let him help, because something was so obviously off but Gabriel just couldn't pinpoint it. He figured he could figure it out if he dug enough, but a part of him wanted Sam to tell him himself.

The next morning, Gabriel was driving Cas and Sam to school when Sam's phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Sammy!"

"Dean! How'd you even-"

"Managed to escape dad long enough to find a pay phone. So where the hell are you?"

"I'm still in town."

"Really?"

"He enrolled me in school."

"I swear, the second I can get to you-"

"I know, Dean." Sam smiled. "Jerk."

"Bitch."

Sam laughed as he ended the call.

"Who was that?" Cas asked. He knew it wasn't whoever called him that first day, since Sam had come back ready to murder someone.

"My older brother, Dean."

"Where is he?"

Sam shifted in his seat. "Away." His voice left no room for further questioning.

After a few tense and silent minutes, Gabriel finally pulled into the school parking lot. Sam basically jumped out of the car, and Gabriel frowned at his brother before following Sam.

"What was that?" he asked when he had caught up.

"What was what?"

"The little disappearing act you just tried to pull."

"I'm just walking to school." Sam didn't want to admit how embarrassed he was that he had to stay at the Novaks the night before. "I don't want to be late. I already have a detention with Mr. Walker today."

Gabriel winced. "That sucks."

Sam nodded in agreement.

"Do you have a place to sleep tonight?" Gabriel blurted, watching Sam's eyes grow.

"Yeah. I'm good, thanks."

Sam didn't show up for lunch that day, and Gabriel and Castiel tried calling him, but got no answer. They didn't share any classes, and they never caught a glimpse of him in the hallways. Gabriel was determined to find him, and after school dropped his brother off at their house before heading downtown. He had no idea where to look, or where Sam even lived. Eventually, he pulled his car into an empty lot and headed out on foot.

It took him around an hour to find Sam, and even then it was nothing but stupid luck. Gabriel went into a store to buy some gummy worms, and happened to see Sam there. He opened his mouth to call out his friend's name, just as Sam quickly grabbed granola bars off the shelf and stuffed them into his pants. He then picked up another one, digging around in his pocket for the money to pay for it.

The words died on Gabriel's lips as Sam payed for the granola bar and walked out of the store. Candy forgotten, Gabriel followed Sam, waiting a few seconds before grabbing his arm and twisting him around.

Sam's face flashed briefly to panic before calming slightly down. "Hey."

"Really? _Hey?_ Where were you today?"

"At the nurses." Sam said truthfully. His head had been killing him since the morning, and the last thing he needed was to get sick. "And then detention."

Gabriel accepted the answer. "Okay. Why did you just steal granola bars?"

Sam's face drained of any color. "You saw that?"

"Yeah, you're lucky no one else did."

Sam didn't say anything.

"You're coming over tonight." Gabriel said, and dragged Sam back to the car before driving the both of them to the Novak house. Cas was napping on the couch, and Michael just frowned and said that Zachariah was going to be there in an hour or so from the airport, but Sam was still welcome.

"Great." Gabriel muttered under his breath before leading Sam up into his bedroom, shutting the door softly. He turned to Sam. "Do not move, I swear to god, I will knock you out."

Sam just gave him a confused look as Gabriel left the room.

Michael gave his younger brother a look as Gabriel gathered an armful of food. "Dinner's at five."

"I know."

Sam protested as Gabriel came back into the room, stuffing all the food in a very large insulated bag before placing it in his mini fridge. "You can take that in the morning."

"I don't need-"

"Yes you do. You're not the type to steal for fun, and the only thing I've really seen you eat is the candy bars I give you. I don't need to know why, but I'm gonna let you starve. Okay?"

Sam was stunned, and considered pinching himself. "T-thanks."

"And if you ever want to tell anyone about what's happening, I'm here. Anytime, okay? You can call."

Sam grimaced. "I actually don't have a phone anymore."

"Why not?"

_Because dad stopped paying for my phone. _"I broke it."

"You can't get a new one?"

"I have to steal food."

Gabriel sighed. After a minute he located an old phone of his, grabbed the charger, and handed it to Sam. "I can pay the bill."

"What am I? Your charity case?" Sam said with a hint of venom.

"No! Course not." Gabriel thought over his words for a second. "You can deny it all you want, but I don't think your very safe. I can't do anything without proof, so I want to be able to reach you, and vise versa."

Sam didn't look happy, but plugged the phone in to let it charge. Gabriel grabbed his laptop and put Sam's phone on his plan, making a mental note to tell Michael before he cancelled it.

By the time everything was set up, they were being called down for dinner. Zachariah was sitting at the table, along with Cas and some other family members. Michael was at the head, and Gabriel sat Sam and himself as far away from his uncle as possible, but Zachariah was a nosy son of a bitch, and was very interested in Sam, firing question after question. Sam answered politely, but said no more than he had to.

"Where are your parents? I hear this is the second night you've spent at this house."

"My mom's dead." Sam said softly, and everyone except Zachariah sent Sam sympathetic looks.

"And your father?"

"My dad and my brother are out of the state."

"Really? Why?"

Sam squirmed in his seat, and Gabriel decided he'd had enough. "Are you interviewing him for a job? Let's talk about something else. Zachariah, how was your trip to Italy?"

Zachariah launched into a very long, very boring tale of his third trip to Italy and fifth to Europe. Sam sent Gabriel a grateful smile, and Gabriel returned it. However, his mind was spinning. Was Sam by himself then? Gabe knew he had a brother, Sam talked about Dean all the time and they called each other a lot, but what about his father?

What exactly was Sam's life like?


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so I kinda lied about the Dean thing, but he will be in the story soon, promise.**

* * *

"_I'll be there when you need me_

_You'll be safe here"-Let You Down_

After that painful dinner was over, Castiel said goodnight and went into his room to do homework. No one would see him until the morning. Gabriel took Sam back into the former's room, biting his tongue to stop the questions from flowing. He tried to at least think of something funny to say, but nothing came to mind. Sam seemed fine with the silence however, and was doing something on his phone. Probably texting that brother of his.

"Do you mind me asking why your dad and brother left you here?" Gabriel asked, searching Sam's face.

"Dean didn't leave me." was all Sam said, and Gabriel left it at that.

ONE WEEK LATER

Sam shivered as he sat in his alley, the cool fall air beginning to take a bitter turn. He'd been talking with Dean, and his brother was hoping to escape John's iron grip before the first snowfall, and Sam hoped Dean made it. The elder Winchester didn't know Sam was living outside, he'd told Dean he'd been staying with Gabe and Cas. But ever since that second night, Sam has refused every time a Novak offered. After school, Sam would either go there or to the library until it was dark out and then slip into his alley. He'd sit there with his knife open for about an hour, trying to see if anyone would give him trouble. When no one did, he'd close the knife but still keep it clutched in his hands as he got as much sleep as he could.

But people like Gabriel were starting to notice. Sam only had two pairs of jeans and a few shirts, and Dean's jacket. He could only wear those things so many times, and the only way to even wash them was the excuse he gave that his washer and dryer were broken. It was easy to see through, and Gabriel was doing just that. Sam closed his eyes and went to sleep.

The next day at school was a disaster. Sam and only been getting a few hours of sleep each night, and it showed on his face and the way he stumbled around between classes. He even fell asleep in Walker's class and earned himself another detention. Sam's grades were not at all impressive like they used to be, and he was failing Walker's class as well as another. He needed Dean. He needed his brother to wrap Sam up in a hug and tell him it would be alright like he always did, no matter how old they got.

By the time lunch rolled around, Sam practically fell into his seat. Gabriel looked up and frowned. His friend looked worse than he usually did, on account that the cold hadn't let Sam sleep, but Gabriel didn't know that. All he knew was that Sam needed help.

"Argue all you want, but you're coming over tonight."

Sam nodded, too tired to debate.

The second they arrived at the Novaks, Sam went up to guest room he slept in and collapsed onto the bed. He was out in seconds.

Castiel and Gabriel stood near the doorway into what they had begun to call Sam's room, worry plain as day across both their faces. They made their way into Cas' room before talking however, so they didn't wake Sam, who obviously needed the sleep.

"God, I wish I knew what's wrong." Gabriel sighed. "I mean, it looks like he's lost way too much weight in the couple weeks we've known him, and he really needs new clothes." he looked at Cas. "Do you think he's homeless?" his voice was quiet he was surprised his brother even heard him.

"It's one of many possibilities. I am just glad that Sam is here for the night, and hopeful that his brother will come for him."

"You and me both."

Sam slept for a good three hours before Gabriel had to wake him up for dinner. As always, he tried to be polite and eat only a little bit, but when Gabriel shoved a mountain of food onto his friend's plate, Sam ate it all.

Two days later, it snowed.

"Shit." Sam said loudly as he tilted his head towards the snowflakes. He was walking to school, having declined Gabriel and Cas' offer to pick him up. It's not like Sam had an address they could meet at or anything. Gabriel had bought Sam new clothes, much to his dismay, and although he wore them, he kept them at the Novaks so he wouldn't have to carry them everywhere with him. However, he didn't want to have to stay with them more than he had to. Even Zachariah was catching on that something wasn't quite right with Sam's life. Besides, Dean had called yesterday, and told Sam that he should be there by the beginning of next week. It was Monday.

Sam hated the weekends because he had no where to be. He spent most of it at the library, and Cas had convinced him to spend some time at his house.

Sam's phone rang, and he stared at it, not quite sure what to do. How the fuck did John get his number?

"Hello?" he finally asked.

"Dean's been in a car accident."

The world stopped moving. Sam's breathing was shallow, and his shaking hands struggled not to drop the phone. "Is he okay?"

"He will be. I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but can you come see him?"

Sam agreed, and John texted Sam the hospital's address. They were in Virginia now, for some unknown. Sam wondered if John had found what he was looking for yet.

_How am I going to get to Virginia?_ John hadn't offered a ride, and Sam never got his license, nor did he have the money for a bus ticket. After a moment, he called Gabriel.

"What's wrong?"

"My brother was in a car accident."

Gabriel paused, Sam's answer not what he was expecting. "What do you need me to do?"

"What? Nothing."

"Where is Dean?"

"At a hospital in Virginia."

"Do you have a way to get there?"

Sam knew where this was headed. "Gabriel-"

"I can get Michael to excuse the three of us. Meet me at school, or I will knock you out and drag you to that hospital. Understood?"

Sam understood.

* * *

**Also, I've been wondering if I should include Destiel in this fic or not. It'd be super helpful to know what you guys think, so if you have an opinion on it, please let me know!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So I had a person ask about the ages of Dean and Cas because I asked about Destiel, so I thought I'd just list their ages. Dean is 19, Sam is 17, Gabriel is 18, and Castiel is 16 turning 17. I have decided to ****_lightly _****add Destiel, the main focus is still Sam and Gabriel. However, I do have a Destiel story in the works, since I'm about finished with one of my other stories, Recovery, so that'll be up in the next few days**

_"Everyone's here_

_Waiting for you to finally be one of us"_

Gabriel and Castiel met Sam at the school, and they both silenced any attempt to change their minds. They sat in silence the whole ride, the only sound being Gabriel surfing through the radio stations.

Once they got to the hospital, Sam had to stop himself from running to Dean's room. When finally got there, he went straight into his brother's arms.

Dean had stitches in various parts around his body, but was otherwise was okay. He chuckled at his brother, pulling back to look at the two other people in the room.

"Who are your friends Sammy?"

"Oh, yeah." Sam laughed. "Castiel and Gabriel."

"The people you've been staying with?"

Sam froze. He forgot, he'd been feeding his brother a different story than his friends. "Yeah, I've stayed with them." he said warily. Dean frowned at Sam, sensing there was more to it than that, but before he could say anything John Winchester walked through the doors.

"Can I talk to you outside, Sam?"

"I came here for Dean."

John sighed, giving Cas and Gabe an odd look before turning back to Sam. "Please."

Sam followed his father outside into the hallway. "What do you want, dad?"

"I wanted to apologize for leaving you in the way I did-"

"But not for leaving me?"

John didn't look Sam in the eye as he nodded.

"Fuck you. You want to know where I've been sleeping? Outside! I've been sleeping outside. I'm homeless, hungry, and failing some of my classes all because you want to find the guy who killed mom. It's been almost seventeen years! She's dead, and she's not coming back."

Sam's head was thrown to the side and he stumbled back as John's hand struck out. He touched his burning cheek.

"Shut the fuck up." John hissed, any remorse he felt gone in a flash. "You've always been ungrateful, selfish, and a little bitch. You know what? I'm not even gonna ask you anymore. It's not worth it."

Sam didn't know what he meant, but at the moment it wasn't important. Sam brushed past his father and back to where Dean was. The elder brother knew something was wrong just by the way Sam walked into the room. Dean pulled Sam into a hug, and wondered how much Castiel and Gabriel knew about John.

"Did he-?" Dean couldn't force the rest of the sentence out. _Did he hit you?_

Sam nodded.

"The second I'm out of the hospital, which should be really soon, I'm coming back for you. Okay? But for now, I think it's better if you leave."

Sam agreed, and Castiel and Gabriel followed behind, confused.

But Castiel had more than Sam on his mind.

Why did Dean Winchester seem so familiar?

It was morning of the next day by the time they got back, but none of them wanted to stop for the night. Michael called them out sick again, and the three of them fell asleep within seconds.

Gabriel woke up first. They had all crawled into his room, since it was the largest, and were sprawled out on the bed.

Sam refused to talk about why he was in such a hurry to leave, and what Dean meant when Sam came back into the room after speaking with John. However, his cheek had been pink and had bruised on the way back.

Sighing, Gabriel made his way downstairs. Michael was sitting at the kitchen table, his work spread around him and his laptop. "It's noon, Gabriel."

"I needed the sleep."

"How is Sam?"

"He's been better."

Gabriel made his way over to the kitchen, where he made three sandwiches and a bag of candy, ignoring his eldest brother as he made his way back into his room, where Castiel and Sam were beginning to stir. He took a few pieces of candy out of the bag and pegged them at them.

Cas groaned, and Sam flipped him off.

"Well, aren't you two just a couple rays of sunshine today."

"Go away," Sam and Cas said at the same time.

Gabriel grinned and passed out the food.

"Thanks." Sam mumbled, biting into the sandwich.

"We gonna talk about yesterday?"

"Nothing to talk about."

"Even I know that is a lie, Sam." Cas said softly, looking down at the floor. "Something happened with your father."

"Nothing happened!"

Dean couldn't wait to get out of this stupid hospital and get back to Sammy. But first, he was going to murder his father for hitting his brother.

"Dean-"

"Don't even talk to me."

John closed his mouth and stared at his son.

"Please get out of my room before I hurt you."

He left.

The next day, Michael made his brothers and Sam go to school. They didn't really see the point considering it was Friday, but Michael insisted, and none of them dared to argue with him, not even Sam.

Sam was finally rested, and was more attentive in class than he normally was. Even Mr. Walker noticed, and removed the detention Sam had missed when he was visiting Dean.

One of his other teachers, Mrs. Harvelle, took him aside after class.

"You okay there, Sam?"

"Yeah."

"Where'd you get that bruise on your face?"

"Believe it or not, I managed to fall on my face." Sam added a chuckle to the end of the sentence, hoping to make it seem realistic. He knew by her face that he failed.

"You're a Winchester? Your dad John?"

Sam nodded. "You know him?"

"He used to be friends with my husband, before he passed."

"I'm sorry."

Mrs. Harvelle smiled. "I'm just saying I know how John can get sometimes. You ever wanna talk..."

"Sure." Sam smiled, knowing that he'd never go to her to talk.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry this is so short, but I just came back from a family vacation and wanted to get something up for you guys. **

* * *

_"I will let you down"_

Sam knew he wouldn't last much longer at this rate. After the hospital, he refused to stay with the Novaks. He was embarrassed and certain that if he spent more time with them necessary, he'd get caught in a lie or Gabriel would finally figure it out. Still, he missed the guest room as he settled down on the hard ground, using his backpack as a hard pillow. Sam hadn't heard from Dean, and began to doubt if his brother was coming. After all, it had been a week.

He had just closed his eyes when a snowflake hit his cheek. "_Fuck._" he swore, clutching his jacket. He'd freeze if he stayed out much longer, but it was too far to walk to the Novak's even if he wanted to, especially since it was dark and freezing. He tossed his phone in his hands, debating calling Gabriel, Castiel, or Dean. His brother wouldn't be much help, but it always soothed Sam to hear him talk. Just as the thought struck him, his phone buzzed with a text from Dean.

_Something's up with Dad. I can't come for another few weeks. You okay with Cas and Gabe?_

Sam wanted to cry. What was so important that it kept Dean with Dad? He knew if he asked, Dean wouldn't tell, since he hadn't in the text. _Yeah._

After a few minutes of sitting in the snow, Sam couldn't take it anymore, grabbing his stuff and walking around. His face was wet with snow and tears, and eventually Sam came across a twenty four hour diner. He had a few dollars, purchasing some weird hot drink and sitting in the far corner. There were a few other people there, but no one he knew. He sipped from his cup, keeping a watchful eye on the door and the people. Finally, at about two a.m., Sam was asked to either buy something else or leave. Since he was out of money, he was forced to go with the second option.

The cold hit Sam the second he opened the door, causing him to pull the jacket closer. His breath puffed in front of him, and he did the only thing he could do to stay warm: he jogged. By the time his body had heated up, he was beyond tired and thankful he didn't have school. He was left gasping as he held onto a street lamp, the mixture of hunger, cold and fatigue too much for Sam as he sank to his knees, tears sprouting once again from his eyes.

At four in the morning, Sam swallowed his pride and called Gabriel, fearing that if he fell asleep he'd never wake up again.

"Hello?" Gabriel sounded foggy.

"Hey."

"Sam." his voice sounded much more awake now, and there was a hint of alarm. "What's wrong."

"I know it's really early, but do you think you could come pick me up?"

Gabriel agreed without hesitation and Sam rattled off the address of the diner, which he had been circling on his run.

It only took Gabriel a few minutes to get to his destination, and he jumped out of his car and ran toward Sam, who was struggling to stand "Sam!" he shouted as he piled the other boy into his car, cranking the heat as high as it would go when he noticed Sam's shivering. He sped home, rushing Sam into the house, where Michael, Castiel, and Zachariah were waiting Castiel wrapped Sam in a blanket as Michael handed over a hot drink to Gabriel, since Sam would spill it. Zachariah just stood there, unsure of what to do and honestly not seeing the big deal about this Winchester boy, eventually just returning to his room.

The next morning, Sam woke to three worried faces hovering above him. As the events of the night before flooded back, Sam groaned at his weakness and sat up, trying to think of something to say, but Gabriel beat him to it.

"What the fuck Sam?"

"Look, I'm sorry I bothered you-"

"I'm glad you called, Sam, because otherwise who the hell knows what would've happened!" Gabriel was getting pissed, and Castiel gave him a look.

"Do you want to explain what's going on, Samuel?" Michael asked, his voice calm but laced with concern. "We only want to help."

Sam took in a deep breath. "No."

Michael and Castiel gave him sad looks, but Gabriel wasn't having that shit. "You're homeless, right?"

Sam looked up with surprise, that someone had finally figured it out. Debating whether to lie or not, he finally decided to just go with the truth. "Yeah."

The three men hissed, and Michael lead Castiel out of the room, sensing that Sam only wanted to talk to Gabriel.

"Why didn't you say anything, you dumbass?"

Sam shrugged.

"You can stay here until Dean gets back."

Sam let out a small laugh. "That's gonna be a while. Said something came up with dad."

"Okay."

* * *

**I know the homeless story line is drawing to a close, but this story is far from over. Sam still has to deal with his family, Dean and John are hiding something from Sam, and of course, we still have Sabriel to look forward to!**


	6. Chapter 6-Part 2-Dead In The Water

**New chapter! Yay! I ran out of lyrics to use from Let Me Down, and since the tone of the story is going to change, I figured I'd put in a part two with a different song, Dead In The Water**

* * *

**Part Two-Dead In The Water**

"_The ice is thinning out_

_And my feet brace themselves"-Dead In The Water, Ellie Goulding_

Gabriel knew he was being really creepy, watching Sam sleep on his bed, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to make sure Sam didn't run off again, and wanted to reassure himself that his friend was safe.

Gabriel had never felt more afraid than when he pulled up to Sam, who was too weak to stand. Of course, Gabe had suspected that Sam was homeless, but knowing it was so much different than just suspecting. So much different. All he wanted to do was murder John for doing this to his own son, and for hitting him at the hospital. Gabriel looked over at Sam sharply. How often had he been abused before he was abandoned?

Gabriel wanted to cry and scream just thinking about it.

Sam woke up an hour later, when Gabriel was in the bathroom. He looked around, clutching the sheets, he wanted nothing more than to escape, but Gabriel walked back in, and the determined set of his face told Sam he wasn't going anywhere soon. He sat down next to Sam, holding a large plate of waffles. "Eat."

Sam did, figuring he would wait to make his case. Besides, the waffles were fucking amazing. He was halfway through them before Gabriel said anything.

"What the fuck, Sam?" he seemed to like that phrase, Sam noted, shrugging. "Answer me! My best friend's homeless, and barely let me help."

Sam's eyes widened, and he looked down at his food. "It's better that way."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Sam shrugged.

"No." Gabriel snapped. "You don't get to do this, Sam."

"Why the hell not?" Sam shot back.

"Because I know there's more you're not telling me."

"You're wrong." Sam lied.

Dean glared at his father, who ignored Dean and continued to pull book after book from the library shelving. All Dean wanted to do was return to Sammy, but he knew that for now, that wasn't an option. So he took in a deep breath and copied John's actions, flipping through hundreds of pages when they had gathered enough reading material. John eventually pulled out his laptop, and looked there.

Dean sighed. _Oh, Sammy._

Sam, Gabriel, and Castiel returned to school the following Monday. No matter how much Sam protested and fought the Novaks, all but Zachariah insisted he stay with them. Sam wasn't able to get in contact with Dean, so unless he ran away, which he didn't really want to do, he was stuck.

Gabe and Cas hunted Sam down at lunchtime, and Gabriel pressed food into Sam's hand after seeing that the boy, for whatever reason, didn't have any with him. He silenced Sam's attempt at arguing, and the three of them sat there in awkward silence for a minute.

"Why did you not bring food with you, Sam?" Cas asked, his eyes confused and questioning. Sam shrugged but didn't say anything.

Gabriel didn't get it. Sam had never been happy accepting help before, but ever since it was revealed that he was homeless he absolutely refused any help unless it was forced onto him. He almost seemed embarrassed, but that didn't make much sense. They'd known each other for a while now, why didn't he trust Gabriel, at least? Why wouldn't Sam even admit that something was eating at him at least, and what was it? All Gabriel wanted to do was help. He wanted to see Sam smile again, a real smile, not the sad twitch of the lips or the obviously fake happiness on his face.

"I think I found something." Dean looked over at his father, trying not to get his hopes up. John walked over to his son, looking over to the section of the book Dean was pointing at. John's lips rose in a smile, and he looked at Dean with pride.

"Good job, son."

"Now what?" Dean asked, feeling a sudden bolt of panic for his brother. What would happen to Sammy during this?"

John did nothing to shake Dean's dread. "Now we go find Sam."

Sam really didn't want to go back to the Novaks, so he used the excuse of needing the school library to do research for a project, which while it wasn't a lie, it wasn't the truth either. He had finished the project the day after it was assigned to him, and ended up just sitting in the library for a few hours before returning to the Novak's house. Gabriel was waiting for him with food and a disapproving look.

"You barely ate at lunch today."

Sam grumbled and took the plate of nachos, sitting with Gabriel on the couch. Cas and Michael were upstairs doing whatever the two of them did, and Sam squirmed under Gabriel's watchful eye for a few seconds before it started to piss him off.

"What the hell is up with you?" Sam asked.

Gabriel looked ready to punch Sam. "Why won't you talk to us anymore?"

Sam wasn't sure how to answer that one, so he didn't.

* * *

**The shit is going to hit the fan pretty soon, but before that happens, I'm curious. Does anyone have ideas of what John and Dean are planning? And why Sam's acting strange? Let me know!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So, the results are in, and the winner is...option one! This is the one with the supernatural elements. Sorry if anyone's disappointed, but I hope you guys like this one too! Short chapter for now**

* * *

"_I'd say so much to you_

_And I would tell the truth"_

John attempted to call Sam a handful of times, but reached his son in none of them. The closest he got was someone named Michael, who threatened to report John to the police if he called again, and then hung up. He tried to get Dean to call, but his elder son refused to even let John touch his phone. But it didn't really matter, John figured. They'd be there soon.

Sam wanted nothing more than to see his brother, but it wasn't Dean that kept calling, it was John. Even after Michael answered the phone, Sam's father called at least once an hour, making everyone in the Novak family on edge.

And then one time, Sam threw his phone at the wall and broke it in half.

Sam seemed to be getting more and more angry as time went on. Even he wasn't sure why, but everyone noticed, and Gabriel's concern shot through the roof when he walked into Sam's room to find him crying on the floor, his broken phone a few feet away. Gabriel had wrapped Sam in his arms and held him until Sam was okay enough to push the other boy away.

Ellen watched Sam in class, noticing how his grades were slipping faster than they were before. She continued to ask him about John, and he continued to give her half-assed answers that only increases her worry for the boy. One day, she finally had enough and asked to see him after class, and while he looked annoyed, he obeyed.

"I know something's wrong, boy."

Sam shook his head. "Nothing's wrong."

Sam wasn't sleeping.

Gabriel could hear Sam pacing in his room, and after a moment of hesitation, went over to the other boy's room. Sam looked up in surprise but didn't say anything. He did stop pacing however, and allowed Gabe to go over to him.

"You okay, Sam-O?"

Sam nodded. He was getting sick of people asking him that, but he really didn't want to snap at his friend, so he kept his mouth closed.

Dean's never been afraid of his father before, but now seemed like a good time to start. The Impala pulled into the Novak family's driveway, and they saw someone peak through the window-Castiel?-before the oldest, Michael, stormed out the door, followed by the other brother.

"Get the hell off my property." Michael sneered at John, who smirked.

"Can't keep my son away from me, boy."

"You lost all rights to him when you left him in that hotel room." Gabriel said, a fierce look of protection on his face, which only lessened when it settled on Dean. "He can come in. You can't, not without Sam's okay."

John thought about it for a moment before nodding at his son. "If he won't see me, you know what to say to him."

Dean did know, but it made his stomach twist into knots every time he thought about it, and what John's plan was if they couldn't convince Sam to come with them. Gabriel shot Dean a questioning look as they went into the house, Michael staying with John. Castiel joined up with his brother, and Dean stared at him for a moment. Where, besides the hospital, had he seen this boy before?

Sam jumped in surprise when the three of them burst into his room, his face darkening as he saw the look on Dean's. Cas and Gabe hovered near Sam, nervous to leave him. After a few assurances, they left, and Sam patted the spot next to him on the bed. Dean sat, looking Sam in the eye.

"There's something I need to tell you, and it's gonna be really hard to take."

"Okay."

Dean opened his mouth at the same time Sam yelled a warning, pulling both of them to the floor.

John Winchester stood in the doorway, his gun trained on his youngest son.

* * *

**Cliffhanger! Told you guys he was an ass**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm back! Life's been hectic, and I've had some personal shit to deal with, but I'm hoping to get back into my groove. I've decided on weekly updates, so every Friday, I'll have a new chapter of MLMC up. It's easier for me and I hope it means I won't do something like this again. Thanks for not yelling at me :) (I'll be doing this for all my stories, so if you wanna see the full schedule, it's on my profile) **

**...**

_**I'm there in the water**_

_**Still looking for ya**_

Gabriel had never been so afraid as he watched John Winchester pulled his youngest son up by his hair, a gun trained on the others in the room. Michael wasn't there, and Gabriel had a sinking feeling that his older brother wasn't there because he couldn't be. Dean was shouting at John.

"You said I'd get to explain! You weren't supposed to do this!"

Gabriel looked over at Dean, his worry spiking up another notch. What the hell was going on, and why were he and Sam the only one who looked confused? Even Cas, who while he did look afraid for Sam's safety, did not look surprised.

While John's attention was on Dean, Sam jerked out from under his father's grip, grabbing the gun and flinging it at Gabriel, who managed to catch it without setting it off. John snarled and lunged at Sam, who cried out as his head bounced against the floor. Cas finally seemed to snap out of his trance and tackled John before he could do anymore damage, and after a moment of hesitation, Gabriel aimed the gun at John. Cas backed away, joining Dean as they checked on Sam.

"Does someone want to explain what the fuck is going on right now?" Gabriel snapped, looking at John and Dean.

Sam, who was fine, just shaken, walked up to his best friend, placing a hand on Gabe's arm, motioning at him to put the gun down. Gabe lowered it towards the floor, but not enough that he'd be unable to use it if he needed to. Gabriel grabbed Sam's hand and squeezed it. Sam smiled before looking to the other people in the room.

"Dad, what are you doing here? Where's Michael?"

John sneered, pulling against Cas. "Don't call me dad. You're not my son, not anymore."

Sam flinched.

"By the way, it's nice to see you again, Cas." John turned to the boy and smiled.

"I do not understand." Cas frowned, but Gabriel and Sam could tell he wasn't as confused as he was pretending to be. "I have not met you before."

"It's not nice to lie. And I know you recognize my only son, don't you?" Everyone's gaze slid over to Dean. "What about you, Gabriel? Are you as sneaky as your brother?"

Sam's eyes jerked over to Gabe, and he dropped his hand, stepping back so he was closer to the door. John fought against Dean and Cas again, but the two of them held the older man in a steel grip. He wasn't going anywhere without their consent, it seemed. Gabriel gave Sam a pleading look, and after a moment, the boy slipped his hand back into Gabriel's/

"What's going on?" Sam tried again, looking at everyone in the room. "Where's Michael?"

"He's not going to be bothering us for a little while." John smiled, and Sam's stomach twisted. Gabriel growled but didn't move from Sam's side. Cas however, yanked hard on what he could grab of John's hair, forcing them to look at each other. "I despise you, John Winchester, and I cannot wait until I can see you burning in hell."

Sam and Gabe thought that was a little odd.

"I'm not going to hell, boy." John sneered. "This is my chance to redeem myself." He turned to look at Sam. "I'm going to destroy the monster I created."

Everyone knew with a terrifying certainty that John was talking about Sam.

...

**Anyone know what's going on? What's our little Cassie been up to, hmmm?**

**By the way, I'm going to try my hand at simple one shots, so any suggestions are encouraged. Also, I've been trying to write a long AU Destiel, but nothing comes to mind, so if you have any ideas for that, let me know.**


	9. Chapter 9-Part 3-Monster

**_Part three-Monster_**

**chapter 9**"_I never said that I want this,_

_This burden came to me"-Monster, Imagine Dragons_

Michael woke to a blinding pain in the back of his head, and he paused for a moment before the memories came flooding back to him. John was here, and that meant Sam was in danger. He attempted to rise to his feet, but as he stood, his legs gave out and he crashed back to the floor. He cried out, grabbing at the air. He was still too weak, and he could only hope his brothers were with Sam Winchester. The boy hadn't been what he was expecting, and Michael, Castiel, and especially Gabriel, were all getting attached. After a few more minutes, Michael finally gathered the strength to stand up, making his way to where Sam was heading last.

Sure enough, they were all there. Dean and Castiel were restraining John, and Gabriel had Sam's hand clutched in his own. As Michael's feet scuffed against the floor, Sam turned, and he saw the ashen look on the boy's face. Gabriel glanced over and nodded at his brother. The secret was out, it seemed.

"I have..._demon _blood in me?" Sam's voice was shaking as he turned on Gabriel. "You _knew_?"

"Sam-"

"Did you know everything else too?"

"None of us knew how you were being kept. Please Sam, let us explain."

But Sam was finished being lied to. He jerked away from Gabriel, looking towards his brother, who had a mixture of feelings that Sam couldn't place plain across his face. Michael stepped towards John, taking Dean's place in holding John. Dean raced to his brother's side.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy. If I had _really _known..."

Sam gave a small smile, knowing that if he could trust anyone, it was Dean. He leaned into his brother's side, the events suddenly too much for him. Dean wrapped his arm around Sammy's shoulders before turning to look at Gabriel. "We'll stay in the house, but we're talking about this tomorrow. I don't care what you do with John."

Gabriel watched Sam go, pain bursting through his chest. He knew he'd lost Sam's trust, and if there was any sliver of it left, it'd be shattered tomorrow. He nodded at his brothers, knowing exactly what they'd do with the bastard. After all, Sam didn't know all the rooms in the house.

The next day, Sam wanted nothing more than to crawl under his blankets and never come out, but he also wanted to know the Novak's reasoning for their actions. He was close to all of them, but mostly Gabriel, who he desperately wanted to forgive. So when Dean came into his room the second he woke up, Sam followed.

Gabriel, Castiel, and Michael were all waiting for the Winchesters in the living room, cloudy expressions on their faces. Sam and Dean sat down on the empty couch and collectively they all took one large breath.

"Okay." Dean was the first one to break the silence. "Explain."

Gabriel shifted in his seat. "While we didn't know about how you were being treated," he said, his gaze solely on Sam. "We did know about the blood. I'm sorry we had to keep it from you-"

"Why?" Sam finally spoke. "How did you already know?"

"It is because my brothers and I...are not human."

"What?"

"We're angels."

At the two identical looks of disbelief, the Novaks rose, glancing at each other before partially unfurling their wings, making sure that their effects wouldn't harm the two humans. While Cas only had the one pair of wings, Gabriel and Michael both had multiple sets, and Sam couldn't help but admire Gabe's golden hue.

"Why are Cas' wings different?" Dean finally asked.

The wings were put away, and Cas almost looked embarrassed. "Gabriel and Michael are archangels, and I am not."

Sam was pretty sure his eyes were no longer in his head. "So why are you here?"

"Because of you, Sam." Gabriel said softly.

"What about my brother?" Dean demanded, that big brother instinct finally kicking in. The angels just shook their heads sadly.

"I am afraid we cannot expose that to you two just yet." Cas said, pleading for Dean to understand.

He didn't.

Hours later, Dean woke his brother up again, only this time motioning him to be silent. Sam obeyed as Dean made frantic hand gestures only his brother would ever be able to understand, and after a moment, managed to pin down what Dean was trying to communicate. They were leaving, and they couldn't wake the angels or alert them of the plan. Sam nodded, and they exited the house, unaware of Michael staring sadly after them, wishing this didn't have to happen, but Sam and Dean needed to learn that the angels were the only other people besides themselves that they could trust at the moment. For the brothers to believe that, however, they had to come to the conclusion on their own. Still, he was worried for their safely, as Castiel would be. Gabriel, Michael felt, would go into a full-blown panic until Sam was found, and that scared the archangel.

He hoped the Winchesters wouldn't be their downfall.

...

**Hey! Lots of secrets, I know. But I just wanted to address something here really quick. When I first started this story, I had every intention of keeping all the characters completely human, but when I gave you guys the option of which you'd prefer, the SPN elements won by a landslide. I know I responded to a commented that the Novaks were not angels, but my whole plot line has changed from that point. I hope this doesn't upset anyone, and I'd like to thank everyone who understands why I did this. I will be taking that response off that chapter, so...Anyway, hope you enjoyed! New chapter next Fridays, as that is the new norm**


	10. Chapter 10

**Super short chapter, more though based than anything else. Also, my computer is being SUPER weird today and kept repeating letters (for example, it made weird weirrd, which is incorrect) and I think I caught all of them, but I'm not 100% sure.**

**AND, in response to this comment from a guest: **_I teally like the characterization of Michael, but it seems a bit weird for them to be oh-so-conveniently angels that may already know about them. _**The angels already knowing about them is actually part of the plot, so...not convenience so much as well thought out planning**

_**...**_

The second Gabriel woke up, he knew something was wrong.

Thee house was far too quiet. Sam had always been loud and clumsy in the mornings, and he usually got up before anyone else. Pair that with the pit in Gabriel's stomach, and he had a sinking feeling he knew what was going on.

And sure enough, Sam and Dean had taken off in the middle of the night.

Panic flared in Gabriel's stomach, and immediately he tried to track the Winchesters, getting even more upset when he found he was unable to. He can see his brother come to the same conclusion, but Michael was no where to be found. Castiel looked over at Gabriel before strolling to the room he knew John was kept in. Sure enough, Michael was there with the eldest Winchester, who was knocked out.

"You knew they left?" Cas said accusingly. Michael nodded.

"They need to know they can trust us. I'm blocking them from the two of you until they realize they need us. I can assure you that they are safe-"

"Bullshit!" Gabriel cried, anger raising to match his worry. "You just can't look Sam in the eyes anymore, can you?"

Michael lowered his head for a moment before giving Gabriel a look that reminded him that his brother was also an archangel and not someone to piss off. Even though Gabe was powerful, Michael was more so. "That is not the issue here, Gabriel. We have broken their trust."

"And this is the way to regain it?" Gabriel spat. "By putting them in danger? Sam-"

"Can manage. If it gets bad, I can zap myself over and help. Besides, he has Dean. Do not let your feelings get in the way of this."

Castiel looked like he wanted to interfere, but did not want the wrath of either of his brothers. While Michael had always been focused on business and the bigger picture, Cas could tell that Gabriel cared for Sam Winchester. While he knew Michael had a valid point, it pained him to see Gabriel like that. The two of them were closer than any angels since Michael and Lucifer.

Dean looked over at the sleeping form of his brother, feeling a sense of calm for the first time in a long while. He was determined to protect Sam at any cost, and was willing to fight against the angels and the demons, even if it lead to his death. Because no one was more important than Sammy, and because there was not a doubt in his mind that Sam would do the same thing for Dean. So he refused sleep, preferring to reassure himself that his brother was okay physically. His state of mind would have to be tackled in the morning, because no way in hell was Dean waking him up. Not only was this the first night in the whole week since they left the angels that Sam had slept peacefully, but his little brother was also a cranky bitch when he was forced awake.

Sam's chest rose and dipped in a steady rhythm that always calmed Dean without fail. No matter what had happened, with John or any other aspect of their lives, watching Sam sleep was relaxing for Dean. He was aware it sounded creepy and that Sam had somewhat mixed feelings about being watched- even if it was Dean-but it was the only thing that really worked. Dean needed to know that his brother was safe, and the only person trusted with Sam was Dean. So he watched Sam until his eyes dropped and his body slumped against the hard motel bed.

So he didn't notice what happened after.

Michael stood over the bloodied form of John Winchester, debating if he should kill the man. He knew his brothers wanted the man dead, but Michael himself wasn't too sure. John might eventually have his uses, and besides, he had a feeling that the man's sons might have a few choice words or actions that they would love to express to their father, not that he even deserved that name. Sure, he was half their DNA, but in no way, shape, or form did that make them family. Michael, Castiel, and Gabriel were family. Dean and Sam were family. John was alone, and had been ever since Mary's death all those years ago.

**...**

**The next few chapters will be more like this one, with Sam, Dean, Cas, and Gabe dealing with the emotional turmoil of Sam's "condition" but once we get to part 4 (chapter 14) the action takes the center stage of the story. And as always, reviews are appreciated! See you next Friday!**


	11. Chapter 11

**The one story that's on time this week (even if there's like 10 minutes left in today)**

**But before this, I actually have a few concerns that are making me really nervous. The number of views and reviews this story is getting is dropping, and it's seriously freaking me out, so please, if there's a reason you aren't as interested in this story as you used to be, let me know, either through the review box or a PM. If you are enjoying this story, would you mind just letting me know? I know I'm being kind of weird about this, but for me to be able to confidently continue writing a story, I need to know people aren't hating it. Thanks, and I hope it's not too much of a bother.**

**Now, onto the story.**

**...**

"_**I'm only a man with a candle to guide me"**_

Gabriel and Castiel watched as Michael's features paled and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Michael?" Gabriel asked, fear curling in his stomach. "What's wrong? Is it Sam and Dean?"

Michael nodded. "Dean requires our assistance." He grabbed his brothers' hands, and they vanished into thin air, reappearing in an abandoned warehouse. Dean looked frantic as he glanced at the angels, only slightly ruffled by the possibility that they had known where he was this whole time, because at the moment, there was one thing that mattered more than anything else in the world.

"Sammy's missing."

Cas had taken Dean back to the Novak house while Gabriel and Michael remained at the warehouse. Michael could no longer feel Sam's presence, but the archangel was positive that the boy with the demon blood was still alive. He had taken his things with him, and they suspected that he had run away, but all four of them, when Gabriel and Michael zapped back to the house, couldn't agree on why.

"Maybe he thought he was keeping you safe, Dean." Castiel suggested, causing Dean to frown. He wasn't really a big fan of the idea that this was his fault.

"How did he discover how to block angels?" Michael vocalized his thoughts, and the three men in front of him frowned in deep thought. "The two of you had just learned we were not human." that last statement was directed towards Dean, but the elder Winchester had no idea. This was all too much for him, and he gave a tight smile before leaving the room. After a moment of hesitation, Castiel followed him into Sam's room.

"You are aware that this is not your fault, Dean?" Castiel asked, fearing he already knew the answer. Sure enough, Dean let out a dry chuckle, trying not to get emotional in front of the angel.

"It's my job to watch him, and I had no idea if he is safe or why he left or what's going on in his head-"

"Dean." Castiel interrupted, not liking how the boy was talking. "He is alive, and you are a human. You require sleep, and you are not responsible for what Sam does. We all want him to be safe, but as of right now, it will not benefit Sam's well-being for you to be freaking out like this and blaming yourself."

Dean nodded, although it was easy for Cas to see how much he didn't mean it. Cas knew that the only thing that would help Dean would to get Sam back, and they had no idea what Sam was up to. The fact that he was alive was a good sign, but none of the angels had been able to tell if he was hurt or what his mental state was like, and most importantly at the moment, where he was.

Gabriel paced back and forth as Michael just watched him. Castiel was calming Dean down, but the one person that would be able to calm his brother down was the person that was causing Gabriel's stress. Michael sighed in defeat, as he knew that for whatever reason, this helped calm Gabe down when he was possessing a human vessel. When he was in his own pure form, it was usually spreading his wings out and gently flapping them. Not flying, but just enough to create a small wind. It pained Michael to see his brother like this, but he knew it was nothing compared to what Gabriel was feeling. Even though Michael cared about Sam and hoped he was okay, Gabe had instantly bonded with the human, and it would crush him if anything happened to the youngest Winchester.

Michael closed his eyes and prayed.

The three of them sat in the living room, the tension so thick that a person could physically grab onto it. The angels were checking their radars for Sam every couple of seconds, but so far, nothing had come up. Dean was irritated that he was unable to help, choosing to imagine what he would say to Sam when they found him. The possibility of them not succeeding was something that Dean refused to think about, so instead he turned his thoughts towards the spine-crushing hug that Dean would give before slapping Sam on the top of his head for being such an idiot. No matter the reason Sam left, it wouldn't be good enough for Dean. If Sam was trying to keep his brother safe, well screw that, because Dean wouldn't think about anything else until he found his brother. If it was about the demon blood, well, that didn't change the fact that Sam was the most selfless person that Dean had ever come across. if there was darkness in him, it was impossible to find.

But for now, Dean watched the angels try to locate his brother.


	12. Chapter 12

**This is like the one story that I actually update on time.**

**Trigger warning (which I should have been doing this whole time, so apologies): Over the next few chapters, Sam's really not going to be in a good place. He's on his own, has demon blood in him, and believes he is evil. So, he develops suicidal thoughts and goes into a kind of depressed state. Not too bad in this chapter, but next one will be pretty heavy on the suicidal thing.**

**...**

"_**Do I have to run and hide?"**_

Sam Winchester was in fact, not dead. Nor was he seriously injured in any way, although sore from sleeping oddly. But John came barging through a house that contained _Dean_, with a gun and the intention of using it. Sam wasn't completely human either, and it wasn't something even remotely innocent. He was the worst kind of monster. The demon blood was pumping through his veins, and Sam imagined he could almost feel it slithering inside of him, slowly gripping his heart until it was a dark as the blood surrounding it. He shuttered, drawing in deep breaths before slowly letting them out.

The bus he was on was crowded, as it was time for all the adults to go to work and all the non-demonic children to go to school. Sam was sitting next to a pretty blond girl who looked about his age, and she kept sneaking glances at Sam. If only she knew who she was staring at, she'd be screaming at the top of her lungs in fear. But instead she opened her mouth and spoke.

"Hi." She smiled, and Sam smiled with her. Her face seemed honest and open, almost innocent in a way, and Sam felt a small amount of jealousy curl in his stomach, but it wasn't her fault he was _wrong._

"Hey." Sam replied.

"I'm Lizzie."

"Sam."

They talked for the remainder of Lizzie's bus ride, and Sam fabricated some story about visiting family, when in reality he was in this small town because he had just received angel warding. It hung around his neck, and while the man who had given it to him, Frank, had seemed weird, Gabriel hadn't popped up, so it seemed to be working. Ironically, the charm it was placed upon was a distorted version of the amulet Sam had gifted to Dean. It was black instead of gold, and the face seemed pinched and harsh. There were other differences, and as Sam thought about it more the necklaces had more of those than similarities, but he just wanted his big brother at that moment.

Lizzie eventually got off the bus a block away from her high school, and Sam waved as she walked away, her phone number crushed in his hand. He'd never call her of course, but he wished he could. Call her, take her out to dinner and a movie, and forget about demons and angels and Dean and the father that wanted nothing more than to put a bullet in his youngest's head, which wasn't a very pleasant thought.

Sam continued to ride the bus throughout the night. He suspected that the driver suspected that Sam didn't have anywhere to go and was simply allowing him to stay on, because he was breaking the rules, and he wasn't kicked off when the driver's shift ended and another one took his place after they stood outside the bus talking.

People came on and off, and Sam left before the sun rose, fearing he'd see Lizzie again in the same seat and clothing as she had seen him yesterday. So he wandered around until he found a public bathroom to change in, and then chose to simply bathe in the sunlight at the town park. He knew he needed to leave town soon, since he had three angels and Dean looking for him, but it was warm and he was more peaceful than he had been in a while, especially since the discovery about his blood and running off on Dean, which Sam knew was a pretty shitty thing to do, but Sam didn't know his other options. How else would he control the anger boiling at his core, the dark thoughts creeping in his head?

How else would he keep Dean and the angels safe from Sam Winchester?

There was always the permanent option.

Death.


	13. Chapter 13

**Last chapter of part four! Very exciting, or to me, at least. Only two more parts to go before the end, guys!**

**Trigger warning of some suicidal thoughts/actions from Sammy.**

**...**

"_**If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me?"**_

Sam stared at the knife out i

n front of him, and marveled at how easy it would be to slide it across the skin, to dig it into his flesh. There was no one around him; at best, he'd be found by morning. Worst case...well, bodies tended to smell after a little while. But still, something held him back. There was Michael and Cas, Dean and...

Gabriel. Shit.

Sam growled, grabbing the knife and pressing the tip lightly to his stomach before throwing it a few feet away. He pressed his hands to his head.

Why the fuck wasn't he strong enough to do this?

Why was he hesitating to leave the people that would be better off without him? After all this, why was he still so weak?

Sam moved to grab the knife again when a voice interrupted his actions.

"Sam!"

He looked up. "Lizzie?"

She nodded, a concerned look etched onto her face. "What are you doing, Sam?"

Sam shrugged. "Nothing. Why are you out so late?"

"We have tomorrow off, and walking helps clear my head. Why are you holding a knife?"

His eyes widened, and he chuckled nervously. Screw it. "I was planning on killing myself."

Lizzie jerked forward, her red hair brushing into Sam's face as she grabbed his shoulders. "No! Sam, you can't do that. Please don't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because people care! Hell, I care, and this is only the second time I've seen you! You have any friends or family?"

Sam nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. This was not how he had played this out in his head.

"Then you have to be strong, Sam, for them. And let them be strong for you."

Sam narrowed his eyes at the wording of Lizzie's little speech. "Why does it sound like you know what you're talking about?"

"Because I do. My brother committed suicide last year Sam, and I'm telling you, as much as it seems like a good idea now-"

"I know it's a horrible idea, Lizzie. But at this point? It's my only one."

Lizzie sighed. "Look, I don't know you very well, I'll admit that. But this isn't your only option. As long as someone cares, then it's enough to pull through. Trust me. Call someone. Have them come get you, and let them help."

Sam thought over her words before nodding slowly, giving her a small smile. "This isn't your problem." he said softly before taking off in a sprint. He heard Lizzie screaming, running after him, but she wasn't fast enough.

Neither of them could outrun Sam's demons.

* * *

Gabriel frantically clawed at his hair, and Dean was on the edge of tears. Cas was clutching Dean's hand, and Michael was trying in vain to calm Gabriel down. It had been days, and there was no sign of Samuel Winchester, and the hope and certainty that he was alive had slowly dribbled away before disappearing altogether. Sam was not only most likely suicidal, but a weapon that would be valuable to either sides. It was part of the reason Michael, Cas, and Gabe had all been assigned to the case of Sam. But it was more than that for all of them now, and they all prayed for Sam's safe return and health. Hell, Gabriel never stopped praying.

Gabriel looked over at Dean and felt a wave of guilt crash over him. The poor man had possibly lost everything that he had lived for. It was easy to see that Dean would do anything for Sam, would sacrifice the world if that meant his little brother was safe and happy. And now, because of the three angels before him, he might not have the chance to prove that to Sam. Gabriel sat down suddenly on the middle of the floor, aware that his legs were done supporting him. Michael sat down next to him, and Cas gave his brother a sad look before returning his attention to soothing Dean the best he could. Just like Gabriel had bonded with Sam, it seemed as though Cas had done the same with Dean.

Michael sat up suddenly, grabbing Gabe's shoulders. "I can feel him." he exclaimed.

The three other people in the room sat up with a start, and Michael communicated through angel radio where Sam was, and in an instant, Gabriel was gone, the voice of a yelling Dean still ringing in his ears.

Gabriel launched himself at the Winchester, who was huddled next to a pool of his own blood. Gabe touched his fingers to Sam's forehead, instantly healing him. Sam gasped when he saw the angel leaning over him, and he smiled sadly.

"Hey, Gabe."


	14. Chapter 14-Part 4-Awake and Alive

**FYI: For the next few chapters, Sam's going to be going through a rough time, and does get suicidal actions and feelings eventually. It will get worse before it gets better, but it does get better. Just a warning.**

**Also, part four! The song used is ****_Awake and Alive _****by Skillet.**

**...**

**PART FOUR- AWAKE AND ALIVE**

**Chapter 14**

"_**I struggle to find my fate as I'm slipping from your arms."**_

Gabriel remained crouched over Sam, unable to stop his fingers from wandering over the boy's face, arms, any anything he could reach. Eventually, he pulled Sam into a hug, and the human held tight as he tried to repress his sobs.

Gabe pulled back after a moment, staring at Sam before speaking. "We need to return to Cas, Michael, and Dean." he said, denying Sam the option of replying before they were off.

"Sam!" Dean cried, throwing himself at his brother, who froze for a moment before returning it. The angels watched, joy filling each of their hearts as they gazed at the humans who had somehow wormed their way into their hearts. Dean held on as long as he possibly could before taking a small step back, still keeping his hands on Sam.

"You scared the shit out of me, Sammy." Dean said softly, and the angels filed out of the room, wanting to give them privacy, even though all Gabriel wanted to do was run up to Sam and kiss-

Wait, _what_?

That was certainly new.

* * *

Sam choked as he watched his brother tear up, and a little voice in the back of his head reminded him that this was all his fault.

Dean crying for the first time since Sam was old enough to know why Dean was upset.

Sam bit down on his tongue and angled his body away from Dean, wishing that he could control his own emotions. The angels had left, but Sam wasn't sure when.

"Sam?" Dean asked worriedly, trying to look at his brother. "Please talk to me." he pleaded.

Sam looked up at Dean then, tears shining in his eyes. "I just-" He tried before cutting himself off. How could he explain this to Dean? That he felt no hope, that there were moments where Sam just wanted to close his eyes and never open them again? The weight of the demon blood was too much for him, and this _disease_ ripping it's way through Sam's veins wasn't going to go away. He'd always be a _freak_, a _monster_, an _abomination_. Even if Sam tried to be good, even if he acted like a saint, it would never be good enough. _He would never be good enough_. And suddenly, this made Sam pissed.

He screamed, punching his fist through the wall. Dean tried to grab him, but Sam jerked away, lashing out and knocking over a table in his anger. Strong hands gripped his arms, and Sam knew Gabriel was holding him down, and damn, the archangel was strong. Sam fought against him, still screaming, but Gabe held tight onto Sam, refusing to let go.

"Please calm down." Gabriel whispered into his ear, turning Sam around to face the angel. "We can't help you unless you let us."

Sam crumbled under Gabriel's gaze, and he heard Castiel herding a worried and angry Dean away from their brothers. "I don't think I can be helped."

Gabriel's face twisted in pain. "Yes, you can. But you need to let us help. Sam, you need to _let me help you_." Gabriel said, pouring his heart and grace and soul into the words. He never wanted to see Sam like this, and he was determined to help out. Desperate to fight Sam's battles for him, but deep down he knew that Sam had to learn to fight, to believe in himself.

The guilt might literally kill him, Gabriel thought with a sense of horror.

* * *

Sam hadn't improved by the next day.

Gabriel hadn't told his brothers or Dean about the state he had found Sam in, but he was considering changing his mind and saying screw it to Sam's privacy. Sam was teetering on the edge of suicidal, and Dean, Cas, Michael, and Gabe were constantly pulling him back over. Dean seemed to be leaning on Cas for support, and Gabriel encouraged Sam to open up to him. He hadn't yet, but if Gabriel knew Sam as well as he thought he did, then the Winchester would get there eventually. As long as Gabriel kept him from falling, which he would do until the end of time.

There was also the new development of Gabriel's feelings toward Sam. It was odd and foreign, and Gabriel knew there was the issue of only one of them being immortal, but he couldn't help himself. From day one, there was something special about Sam Winchester, and it was easy for Gabe to see past the demon blood. It obviously didn't turn him into an evil or bad person, just an incredibly sad one.

But Sam's support system would never falter, crack, or break, and eventually, they would see Sam's real smile again.

It was just a matter of time.

**...**

**Please****review and leave your thoughts!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Happy Halloween, guys! Sorry I didn't update last week, but hopefully this chapter will make up for it. Kind of had to make this up on the spot, since I left my outline somewhere else. *facepalm***

_**Trigger warning: depression, thoughts of suicide**_

"**I'm at war with the world and they try to pull me into the dark."**

Sam seemed to enjoy sleeping a lot lately.

Gabriel wasn't exactly sure of the reasoning behind this, but he had a few ideas, most of them revolving around the fact that Sam almost certainly hated himself, and that made Gabriel increasingly upset as he watched Sam tear himself into shreds. There wasn't a hint of darkness in the Winchester, but the fact that there was demon blood inside of him crippled the defiance that Gabriel had seen when he was still playing "human" and Sam thought he was like most kids, with some exceptions.

Like the fact that his father was a complete asshole, for one thing.

Gabriel could see Dean, Castiel, and Michael worrying over Sam also, but Gabriel barely paid any of them much attention as the days went by and Sam spiralled. He had more fits of anger a lot like the first one and refused to even speak, pointing and making other hand gestures instead of vocalizing his thoughts and feelings. Gabriel immediately recognized what he was doing; this was his way of punishing himself. But as bad as Sam got sometimes, Gabriel had to silently thank the Lord that his human hadn't resorted to physically harming himself. If Sam ever touched himself like that, then Gabriel would shatter right along with him.

Sam opened his mouth for a split second to tell Dean to back off, but stopped himself before the sounds could actually come out. Sam knew that Dean was trying to get a reaction from his brother, but Sam refused. He simply went numb, letting the thoughts control him.

_Demon blood. _

The worst creature Sam could think of, the most evil of all of them, and that blood was pumping through his veins.

_Monster._

Sam decided that was a nice word to describe him.

_WeaK._

But that one was even better.

It was Sam's weakness that stopped him from killing himself. He knew it was considered the cowards way out, but the chances that it was for the best were pretty fucking high in his opinion. And Sam would finally tell himself that he would do it, only to bump into Dean or Gabriel, and then feel as his resolve crumble as they looked at him with such concern and love that Sam couldn't bear hurting them now, even if it was better in the long run.

So when Dean, Cas, and Michael were outside attending to the matter of John, Sam turned firmly to his friend.

"Gabriel."

Gabe spun around when Sam said his name, wincing at how rough the voice seemed, even if it was currently one of Gabriel's favorite sounds at the moment. "Sam." Gabriel whispered.

"I'm sorry." Sam said, looking at a spot past Gabriel's head. And even though Gabriel wanted to scream at him, wanted to know what the fuck Sam thought he was doing, he simply couldn't, because after two weeks, _Sam was finally talking_.

"It's okay, Sam."

"No it's not!" Sam said sharply. "I just-" he cut himself off, sagging into a nearby couch. Gabriel didn't hesitate as he moved to sit by Sam's side.

"Talk to me, please." he pleaded.

"I'm sick of this." Sam began. "I'm sick of this feeling, you know? I thought I was weird before, but this is a whole new level of freak. A part of me just wants to die-"

"Don't ever say that." Gabriel said fiercely, grabbing onto Sam's hand. "You can't ever think that, please."

Sam's lips quirked into a small smile. "The only reason I haven't was because of you and Dean."

"Good." Gabriel replied. "You're not evil, Sam. Evil would be embarrassing this, acting like a demon. You haven't done a single thing like that, not only since you've found out about the blood, but from what I can gather from Dean and the time you've lived with my brothers and I, _ever_. You're a good person. You may not be able to see it, but your soul is pure, and that matters so much more than what's pumping through your veins. And I-"

Gabriel never got to finish what he was trying to say, because at that exact moment, Sam leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a kiss.


End file.
